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Swiping through friends' dating apps gives me a legal high.Like a lot of other women in long-term relationships, I totally missed the online-dating boat.When Maya changed her preferences from only women to men and women on Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel, suddenly her potential matches were Indian guys, even though she'd listed no preference.Yes, people are often attracted to others with similar backgrounds, but must you factor that so decisively into your algorithms, ye dating sites of little faith?I felt objectified and grossed out." Jenny, who's tried Ok Cupid in addition to Tinder, has also experienced someone immediately trying to guess her ethnicity, which seems to be a pretty common experience for some women of color online. I just went to a Korean BBQ place.' I'm not Korean, and it's offensive to try to guess my ethnicity off the bat," she explains.As you'll see, the "I'm going to assume or wonder if you're this ethnicity, then say something asinine about it" technique is clearly alive and well."Men have said dumb sh*t to me about Kama Sutra," Maya B., 25, a queer woman of desi descent who identifies as a first-generation American and second-generation Indian, tells SELF.I think it really depends on why you only date people of your own race.If you believe that people of your own race are intrinsically superior to people of other races, then you would be considered a racist by many people.
"Eighty-two percent of non-black men on Ok Cupid show some bias against black women," Christian Rudder, co-founder of Ok Cupid, wrote in a blog post analyzing the data.
Listening to her experiences makes me want to set something on fire.
Christian has seen profiles declaring that they're interested in every race except black women, and someone once told her "her kind" wasn't "good enough to date." Another guy said he'd "always wanted to try a black girl" because rumor had it we're like "sexual toys." "I cried that night [after I got that message]," says Christian.
"All I want is to date a respectable, professional man of any color who loves me with all my chocolate skin and rolls.
What bothers me the most is the fact that I'm not given a chance."Research on the subject highlights one unfortunate fact: Black women are the lowest on the online-dating totem pole.