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I came out to our immediate family and our closest friends about a year after I came out to my husband.

But it’s not something that really gets brought up.

I’m with a man, and we look like a very typical heterosexual couple.

But despite being as out as I’ll ever be, I feel like a part of me is erased.

Everything I know about marriage I learned from Terry Miller (Dan Savage's husband) Back in 2006 when I was working a full-time corporate job, while also trying to write what would become Offbeat Bride the book, I almost... I make some offhand remark about how gorgeous Scarlett Johansson is, and they all give me strange looks for a second, before recalling the conversation we had years ago.

I knew intellectually that coming out would be a continual process; I just didn’t realize how often I’d have to remind people.

It took me a week to talk to him about my epiphany.

With our behind-the-scenes perspective, we’re able to shed some light on some typical claims and the likely realities behind them.

The male heights on Ok Cupid very nearly follow the expected normal distribution — except the whole thing is shifted to the right of where it should be.

You can see it better when we overlay the implied best fit below (pardon the technical language): Almost universally guys like to add a couple inches.

When we looked into the data for women, we were surprised to see height exaggeration was just as widespread, though without the lurch towards a benchmark height: These are the average weekly unsolicited message totals by height; you can think of these as the number of times a person is “hit on” out of the blue each week on Ok Cupid.

The genders are plotted on different scales because of the eternal fact that men almost always make the first move, so women get many more unsolicited messages.

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