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It's a little weird at first, trusting a computer algorithm to pair you off.But three weeks (and six dates) from now, you'll realize that online dating is, for better and worse, just like regular dating—and not, sadly, like ordering a pizza online. It's boring, but dating-site handles aren't eligible for the Pulitzer.I think that about covers it.""Hello I am funs human from Romania. I LIVE IN MOMENT."_—Drew Magary _No pressure, but that first message is as do-or-die as it gets in online dating. "We've found that subtle self-deprecation works great," says Langston, "and that a joke works out terribly." Mention a common interest from her profile—we both like skiing! Compliment her ironic Kanye shades, sure— just not any part of her actual body._—Julianne Smolinski _You want to suck the air out of a potential first date?I move here four years ago and make many good friend but not find special lover. We asked Grant Langston, senior director at e Harmony, for a few guidelines to keep her from clicking delete. Blow through all your conversation topics beforehand with an hours-long emoticon-filled chat session.Have whoever's shooting step back just enough to get a three-fourths shot of your body."Urbinati: "White can wash out in photos, so if you're in shape, a simple well-fitting crew tee or Henley in gray is flattering and effortless.
What causes solitary beings to want so desperately to be close to one another? I enjoy tandem bicycle rides.""How would I describe myself?Besides, no lady has ever been swept off her feet by a pop-up box that says "Yo."Let's be honest: Online dating is a numbers game, and the majority of people you come across aren't going to work out for one reason or another.Here's your getaway plan for every step along the way.And then I started to hear it: that rote, robotic tone in my voice as I told that hysterical anecdote about the road trip to Nevada. The sheer mathematical volume was turning me into an asshole.I started watching women and seeing patterns instead of people: Not to get all Louis C. here, but online dating is some radically underrated, the-future-is-now stuff.