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A funny thing happened to me on the way to writing my latest novel, Queen Takes King, in which a 45-year-old finds herself single after her 25-year marriage disintegrates. I was told by other single women over 40 who'd been in the dating pool longer than I had that there were "no men out there." And they didn't mean "no good men"; they meant "No men. Meanwhile, on the libido side, things were getting desperate. The Egyptian was, they claimed, some kind of sensual magician. Today I have two young boys to raise, and I'm not hot on introducing them to a new man. There's nothing like watching your gorgeous, good-natured, snowboarding, ladies' man nephew undergo weeks of heavy chemo to make you stop feeling sorry for your lonely self. And then, when I wasn't looking, there was a flurry of activity. To avoid confusion in the midst of this sudden man bounty, I put a method to my dating madness: As 2008 was a political election year, I decided to hold my own primaries.

I found myself single after my almost-17-year relationship disintegrated. Period."I could have sworn I spied members of the male persuasion on L. That is, if you like your men hairless and sweating in yoga class, grunting through their vinyasas, dragon tattoos on their waxed calves, or perhaps speeding past in their silver BMWs, sporting Bluetooth sets, shaved heads, and glinting veneered teeth. Numbers were pressed into my hand and texted from Black Berry to i Phone. One evening over dinner, my older boy, Thug Number 1, asked if I'd ever get married again. My dates became "candi-dates," and I designated delegates (friends) and superdelegates (family) to help me vet them. He was sweet and funny, with an adventuresome nature; he thought up fun, original dates like a night on the Queen Mary to celebrate Mardi Gras with about 10,000 gyrating, feather-boa-wearing Brazilians.

Truthfully, for me, being single was fine — and probably a good idea. " My dateless period continued unabated, but again I was distracted: divorce, kids, and — oh yes, why not — the big C.

Then, with the exquisite sweetness of an eight-year-old: "If I stab someone, Mommy, do I have to go to jail?

Besides, they have an impeccable taste for clothes, accessories and make-up, making all men envy the lucky ones having a Russian or Ukrainian girls as wives.

Moreover, good looks are often combined with a fine sense of humor and a positive attitude.

Great cooking skills are one story, but creating a cozy atmosphere at home is another one.

You’ll always be impatient to get back home, to have dinner together and enjoy each other’s company in your warm and comfortable home.

Russian and Ukrainian brides are excellent homemakers.I just want the barbecue."The Holy Grail: the barbecue. My "program," as one candidate told me, is too filled up for most men. Music, kids, family, friends, margaritas, standing shoulder to shoulder with your man, arguing over how long to cook a rib eye. I became den mother to a bunch of 22-year-old boys. Instead, I waited like a "snake in the grass," as Tex (a.k.a. I became a zen master of the koan "He who cares least wins." One night, I sat next to a 19-year-old boy at an elegant Hollywood dinner party. He was jealous that I had the best excuse of all for avoiding emotional involvement: "I'm still married." He wished he could use that line.I'd come home from dates and punch up Candi-date Number 3. We'd compare, like old people, "our" music versus "their" music.

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