Dating for a year advice
My gf sees this as a huge barrier and said to me, she wants someone who is "gung ho" about "being married" regardless of the partner. But I think you have to examine these big issues in the light of day.
I'm trying to tell her that she is the one for me and that I can only see me marrying her, although I'm not ready yet. Why is it incumbent on her to make you feel the desire to marry her?
I spoke to her father briefly, and we shared a few laughs about raising teenagers.
As the two kids ran into school, they talked basketball and what movie they were seeing this weekend, I exchanged glances with her father, and he summed it up appropriately: “Those two are like peas in a pod.
She feels like b/c I'm not ready now, I'll never be b/c of the way I feel. Why not go for the partnership model where it's on both of you?
And is not being ready something to do with your age? I think you owe it to her to communicate why you don't feel ready and what would need to happen to get there. Instead, open up the flood gates of communications. C.: After almost a decade of dating, I am now turning 31 and am engaged and in a wonderful relationship. We were both equally into each other and into the long term goal of marriage.
Is he wiling to put in the sweat equity to make the relationship work? I'd also get clear about why it is that he pulled away -- that will give you the best sense of your prognosis. C.: I'm 25, employed, but still don't know what I want to do professionally for the rest of my life.
I've been in a relationship for seven months with a girl who is dependable, grounded, and trustworthy, but there isn't a huge spark in me for her.
Maybe this is the greatest relationship, but at the wrong time in your life.
Saw many friends put in five-year stints with guys who "weren't ready" -- but then married the next girlfriend after a year. Not sure I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I feel like I've invested so much time, and that bailing now would hurt us both tremendously. C.: Isn't pressuring your man to walk down the aisle a slack of faith in him? Is it fair that the guy gets to set the marriage timetable?
Your ovaries are not conflicted about this -- waiting until your mid-30s or later to start a family is risking heartache. Hannah Seligson: Right, the different arcs men and women's lives take. He is great, but I'm not happy and question why I've let it go on so long -- on some level it seems like I've made up my mind to end it, but I guess I don't know 100 percent for sure, or how to do it if I do. I think of it more as a way for women to have a say in how the marriage timetable is set. Hannah Seligson: I think you should do exactly what you did. C.: Can you talk about the decision to move in together or not?
If you aren't ready to settle down, I'd be really honest with your girlfriend and where you are at, keeping in mind that there might not be a "better" relationship out there.
Also, what does a great relationship look like to you? _______________________ Florida: If you want marriage and kids, do not date someone more than two years after age 25. Love him, but maybe not in love -- not great chemistry, lots of little things that bother me.