Dating bathroom etiquette

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But that one incident does not make it okay to speak with or look directly at another man in the men’s room. Don’t be the guy who walks into the bathroom and tries to strike up a conversation or says something like, “Whew, it smells like Big Foot’s tomb in here!

” Even if it were funny, the situation does not call for comedy.

Why should I have to suffer your laziness the next time I go to get some paper towel only to touch an oddly gelatinous coating on the handy push bar? When it comes to the men’s room, think about Chile’s. Photo of line of white porcelain urinals in public toilets courtesy of Shutterstock.

Clean and dry, that’s how you should leave the place.

I’d rather use the family bathroom, but it seems like it is always taken when I need it the most.

What’s more uncomfortable than rubbing elbows with a stranger while standing, legs akimbo to avoid the puddle, at the urinal? If there are three urinals to choose from, pick one on the outside.

If both outside ones are in use and only the center one is available, wait. If you are using a stall and have the place to yourself, it’s one thing. A sniff can be mistaken for the shuffling of a shopping bag or a heavy winter parka.

But as soon as you hear the door open, you need to make your presence known. Plus, you may not want to be inhaling through your nose. A cough is more effective, distinct and has the added bonus of being absolutely, 100% impersonal.

Am I suggesting that you say ‘hi’ and introduce yourself? Let’s remember, you’re in there to get something down, not to make a friend. I shouldn’t even need to put it here, but, inevitably, there is a guy every weekend – at Costco, say – who breaks this cardinal rule and feels the need to comment about the fact that my kid either a) really has to go or b) “made it.” This second one is especially creepy.

It implies the guy was monitoring my kid’s transaction somehow and is especially creepy when accompanied by a groan, the kind someone does as they stretch in the morning. I don’t like the idea that they need to be in the men’s room.

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