Dads against daughters dating gun
I’d rather delete a gun nut or Woody Allen defender from my friend list than try to debate (even though I mourn the days gone when I could just love Allen’s movies). And then my friend, Abby’s mom, said, “Ah Vanessa, it’s all in good fun.” Tom told me to “Take a pill.Still, I bit, because there were too many times in my life when I was quietly outraged, when I didn’t call people on their words, whether they meant them in jest or not. “I’m sure Abby is a strong young woman who can make her own decisions. It was meant in jest and a compliment to Abby, who is gorgeous.” And then he added, “As a father of a girl I believe in empowerment... It’s not a compliment in a deeper sense, and it’s not fun. I’m probably the last person you’d call a sanctimonious prick, what with my uncertain personal boundaries and potty mouth, and I personally hate any sort of word policing. The “shotgun” reference felt like a demeaning thing to say to Abby, because it nullifies her say in how she chooses to share her body, or not.Yesterday Rachel Held Evans shared a question from a reader wondering how to teach her daughter modesty without giving her a complex — that is, “without it becoming about hem lines, guilt and worthlessness.” As the parent of a 3 year-old girl, I wish I had the answer. I’m telling her that she’s my property and not her own person. But the fact is, for centuries women have been told they’re someone else’s property — their fathers’, their husbands’.But there’s one thing I’ve decided to doing, in the hopes of helping my daughter cultivate a healthy view of herself, which I shared in a comment on Rachel’s blog. Women have been told their bodies are something to be ashamed of, something dangerous, something to be kept under lock and key — most recently, by an evangelical purity culture which compares girls who’ve lost their virginity to cups of water contaminated by someone else’s spit.This cringe-inducing story about a dad who forced his daughter’s prom date to pose in humiliating pictures made its Internet rounds last week, and then I found this gem: The daughter who presented her pastor father with a certificate that her hymen was “intact.” Hey, kudos to her for keeping the panties on (if that's what she wanted), but why on earth did she need to “prove” to her dad she was a virgin?
But on particularly terrifying occasions, it means walking out the door as your date’s dad casually cleans his 12-gauge.“It’s just a joke, take it easy” I know the shotgun is "just a joke." I’m not even going to go why we’re still tossing around a rifle metaphor so casually, because at this precise moment, our nation is in wracking pain because of guns.I’d say I fall on the higher side of the funny scale, in terms of giving and receiving hilarity, and I did a root-cause on why the “shotgun” comments strike me so hard.It’s all fun and games until your date’s dad insists on showing you his gun collection.Southern boys know that taking a girl out on a date means meeting the father, and southern fathers like to make an impression on the guys dating their little girls.